Matthew Schaefer’s Journey: Grief, Growth, and the Brothers Who Had His Back
When Matthew Schaefer lost his mother, Jennifer, to breast cancer in February 2024, the hockey world didn’t just send condolences-it showed up. And in a sport that prides itself on brotherhood, two NHL veterans stepped in to offer more than just kind words.
Marcus and Nick Foligno, who know the pain of that kind of loss all too well, became more than mentors to Schaefer. They became family.
The Foligno brothers lost their own mother, Janis, to breast cancer back in 2009. It was a pivotal time for both of them-Marcus had just been drafted by the Sabres, Nick had only recently broken into the NHL with the Senators.
So when they heard about Schaefer’s loss, it hit home. They knew what he was feeling, and they knew how important it was to have someone in your corner who truly understands.
Schaefer, now 18 and making waves as a rookie defenseman with the New York Islanders, had already been on their radar. The connection was small-town Ontario-his family’s cottage near theirs in Sudbury-and their shared agent, Pat Morris.
But what really linked them was the shared experience of losing a mother who was the emotional center of the family. The Folignos didn’t hesitate.
They reached out. And they haven’t stopped.
“They’re amazing guys to have in your corner,” Schaefer said. “They were some of the first people to reach out. If I ever needed advice or to talk to them, they were there.”
That support came in the form of texts, phone calls, and even a little humor when it was needed most. Marcus and Schaefer finally met face-to-face during warmups before a game in early November.
Marcus, who hadn’t registered a point yet this season, joked, “I need a point here soon. It’s been a bit.”
That night, he picked up his first assist of the year.
It was a moment that said everything about the bond they’ve built-one part mentorship, one part brotherhood, and a whole lot of mutual respect.
A Star in the Making
Schaefer isn’t just surviving-he’s thriving. The Islanders rookie has been one of the breakout stories of the season, already notching eight goals and 19 points in his first 25 games.
That goal total? It’s a record for an NHL defenseman through 25 games, putting his name in the same sentence as Bobby Orr.
And while the stats are impressive, what really stands out is how he’s managing to play at such a high level while carrying the weight of personal loss.
That mental toughness was built long before he reached the NHL. It started in his backyard in Hamilton, Ontario, where his mom would strap on goalie pads and play net for him and his brother, Johnny.
“She was actually pretty good,” Schaefer said with a laugh. “I’d get mad because I’d be so competitive and she’d save it and then rub it in my face and start dancing and stuff.
She’d do this chant on how she just made a save on one of mine. There would definitely be a lot of competition.”
That competitive fire, mixed with the kind of love and support that only a mother can give, laid the foundation for the player-and person-Schaefer is today.
The Foligno Connection
Nick Foligno remembers first meeting Schaefer when he was just 14. It was at the lake, during a summer visit, and Morris had mentioned a kid they should keep an eye on.
Schaefer introduced himself simply as a hockey fan. Fast forward a few years, and that "kid" is rewriting the record books in his rookie season.
After Jennifer’s passing, the Folignos didn’t just send a one-time message. They kept checking in. They shared their own experience-what it’s like to lose your rock, your emotional anchor, and still try to focus on your dream.
“They said, ‘They’re always going to be with us in spirit even if they’re not with us,’” Schaefer recalled. “The hockey world is so small and connected that everyone has each other’s back.”
Nick, now with the Blackhawks, put it simply: “I’m just really impressed with the way he’s handled himself, especially at a young age. He’s obviously an unbelievable player.
But he’s also an unreal person. And it probably stems from his mom and his dad.”
Marcus echoed the sentiment: “So much in his life has gone on with loss, and it’s supposed to be the most exciting part of his career. How do you balance that?
There are going to be days you’re pissed off about your mother, and days you have to suck it up and go to work and play the game you love-but do it for her. He’s a special kid and has got a great family.”
Playing With Perspective
Schaefer’s perspective shifted after losing his mom. The highs and lows of hockey still matter, but they don’t define him the way they might have before.
“No matter what happens in a game-good or bad-there’s a lot worse things that can happen,” he said. “You’re doing what you love. There’s nothing much better than that.”
Nick knows that feeling. “Your world is shaken when you lose a core piece like that,” he said.
“A rock in your family. I knew the kid, and I just wanted him to know that it will get better and you’ll find a way to honor your mother by continuing to do what she would want you to do: be a good person and a great hockey player.”
And Schaefer has done exactly that. “I wish she could be here with me and my family along this journey,” he said.
“This is the place you want to be in-you’ve dreamed of being in. So to just be here is surreal.
You think of this as a little kid, and then it becomes real.”
He knows the work isn’t done. “There’s so much work you’ve got to put in because all these guys are coming for your spot. So obviously you try to enjoy it.”
Giving Back
Both Schaefer and the Foligno brothers have found ways to turn their grief into purpose. Marcus and Nick continue to raise money and awareness through the Janis Foligno Foundation, including their recent “Foligno Faceoff” campaign to support breast cancer research in partnership with the NHL and NHLPA.
Schaefer is also giving back, working with the Smilezone Foundation-a Canadian charity that transforms hospital spaces to bring joy to kids undergoing treatment.
“He’s a guy I’ll be cheering for his whole career,” Marcus said.
Nick added with a smile, “I wouldn’t say we’re friends because we’re probably way too old to be his friend. But I’d say, maybe some brother figures-or just older guy figures in his life that can hopefully continue to guide him.”
In a league where talent gets you noticed but character earns respect, Matthew Schaefer is already checking both boxes. And thanks to the Folignos, he’s got two veteran voices reminding him that even in the hardest moments, he’s never skating alone.