Cesar Ruiz has spent the past few months living two truths at once: the joy of becoming a father, and the memory of losing his own.
The Saints offensive lineman was in the middle of training camp earlier this year when his wife, Kelli, called to tell him it was time to fly to Dallas. Doctors were going to induce labor, and Ruiz was excused by the team so he could get there and be in the hospital for the birth of his son, Caiden.
“It’s easily the greatest experience a man can (have), being there for my wife, just seeing my son,” Ruiz said. “Anybody, any father knows, it's by far the greatest experience. That feeling you have, there's nothing else that can replicate it.”
Now three months into fatherhood, Ruiz says the feeling hasn’t worn off. He watches Caiden grow and change, and he and Kelli are focused on making sure their son never doubts how loved he is.
That mission carries extra weight because both Ruiz and Kelli lost their fathers. Ruiz sees that as more than coincidence.
“It's almost like God's gift to us, giving us a boy,” Ruiz said. “I lost my father, and my goal is to make sure that I can be here and be healthy for my kid as long as I can, and just give him the best possible possible life. My dad was amazing to me, and my dad was awesome, and I just want to make sure my son just feels that constant, constant love.”
Ruiz’s father, also named Cesar, died in a motorist accident when Ruiz was 8. His dad had pulled over on Route 55 in New Jersey to help another driver with a flat tire when another car struck and killed him.
Ruiz was young, but not too young to remember the day clearly. His parents were not living together at the time, and he remembers walking in on his mother and finding her in tears.
“She's like, your dad died,” Ruiz said. “I said, what?
What do you mean, my dad died? … As a kid, you don't believe it.
You're lying. You're lying.
You're lying.”
The news kept finding him after that. He saw it on television and then again on the front page of a newspaper when he stopped at a gas station to buy food.
That loss has followed him through football. Ruiz cried when the Saints drafted him in the first round in 2020, and he has said his father’s death helped push him toward the game as a way to deal with grief.
Now football has given him something else: a platform. This month, Ruiz is serving as the spokesman for AAA’s Slow Down, Move Over campaign, using his own story to try to reach drivers before another family goes through the same kind of pain.
“It's deeper than just being a good driver,” Ruiz said. “You have a lot of responsibility behind that wheel, man.
I think more people have to understand that. Any type of little awareness you can bring about can help.
If I can help one person, if one person hears this and it's like you know what, I'm gonna pay attention and lock in, I did something right.”
He doesn’t know exactly what happened the night his father died - the driver who hit him reportedly kept going - but the lesson is clear to him. One careless moment can change everything.
That’s why it gets under his skin when he sees people staring at phones instead of the road, or when drivers speed past a vehicle pulled over on the shoulder without moving over. Behind the wheel, he thinks about how quickly something small can turn dangerous.
Ruiz is 27 now, one year older than his father was when he died in December 2007. Nearly 20 years later, he still remembers his dad as upbeat and happy, the kind of man whose smile showed up in every photo he can think of.
The tragedy is still part of him, but so are the good memories. Ruiz says growing up without his father taught him how to find light in hard moments and hold onto it, and he believes that outlook came from the man he lost.
“As a kid, you stick on to the things that make you happy, you adopt those personalities, you adopt those values,” Ruiz said. “Was it hard?
Absolutely, it was extremely hard. It was one of the toughest moments of my life.
“But it won't erase like everything from that moment and all the good times, and up until the like that moment my father passed away.”
Ruiz’s father never got to see the man his son would become. But as Ruiz raises Caiden, he’s carrying forward what he learned from his dad - and from living without him.
“My goal is to make sure my son doesn't have that void,” Ruiz said. “Oh man, my dad gave me everything I wanted, you know what I'm saying?
Not in terms of physical things. He sat down, talked to me, gave me advice.
He was always there for me. Showed me love.
“That’s what I want my son to know: Your parents love you. And for as long as I’m here, my goal is to make sure my son knows that.”
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