Tom Brady spent Sunday on FOX sounding less like a polished lead analyst and more like a quarterback still living in the huddle.
The line that caught on fastest came after Dak Prescott let one fly. Brady watched it and called it an “absolute pi** missile.” No buildup, no cleaner broadcast version, just the kind of phrase you hear in a locker room, not in the booth.
That wasn’t even the first time he’d slipped. Before halftime, Jayden Daniels’ left elbow bent the wrong way on the final play of the second quarter, and Brady reacted immediately: “Oh s-t,” then, “Excuse me.
I was not expecting to see that.” FOX brought him in to break down the action, but on Sunday he kept sounding like the guy who used to throw those passes.
Dallas beat Washington 37-20 at AT&T Stadium, and Prescott had the ball after Daniels left on a cart. Marcus Mariota handled the second half for Washington. The game itself had plenty going on, but Brady’s booth work became part of the story because the words were impossible to miss.
The “absolute piss missile” clip is the one that will keep circulating, because it’s the funniest and easiest to repeat. The injury reaction is the one that forced the apology. Brady also has a history with Jayden’s mom, Regina, on the field, and that only added to the looseness of the moment.
Brady has spent Year 3 brushing off the criticism and calling the broadcast pile-on clickbait. On Sunday, though, he handed people three unfiltered lines in one stretch.
Kevin Burkhardt can handle the down-and-distance. Brady, at least in moments like these, still sounds like the quarterback.
FOX is paying him $375 million to sit in that chair. What they’re getting is not a perfectly polished color man every snap.
They’re getting Tom Brady when a ball jumps out of Dak’s hand and he can’t find a better phrase than the one he’s always used. Dallas is 1-1.
Washington is 0-2 and without its starter. And Brady is 3-for-3 on unfiltered audio.
In Other News...
Cowboys Brazil Opener Suddenly Comes With A Serious Prekickoff Concern
The Cowboys trip to Brazil now comes with a wrinkle that has nothing to do with travel or opponent prep. Dallas is slated to meet the Baltimore Ravens on Sept. 27 at Maracan Stadium in Rio de Janeiro, but the grass pitch there is drawing concern because it remains in poor shape after weather and heavy soccer use.
For an NFL game, the surface matters almost as much as the matchup, and there is not much time for the league to clean things up before kickoff. Stadium officials and players have already acknowledged the field problems, leaving the Cowboys and Ravens with an opener that suddenly has a very real pregame question hanging over it. [Read more 🡒]
Cowboys Fans Will Appreciate Schottenheimers Response To That Pickens Theory
A viral Cowboys theory made the rounds this week after fans latched onto George Pickens and a mouthpiece as if it might be a clue to what Dallas was about to do on offense. It was one of those internet-driven football ideas that takes on a life of its own, especially when supporters are searching for any edge in reading the play sheet before the snap.
Brian Schottenheimer didnt bat the discussion away so much as lean into it with a laugh during a media appearance, acknowledging the buzz while talking through how tendencies can shape the way people view play-calling. The theory, at least in its simplest form, didnt hold up for long anyway, with one game example showing Pickens wearing the mouthpiece on a running play, which is the sort of wrinkle that keeps these decoding games from ever being all that clean. [Read more 🡒]
Cowboys Head Into Home Opener With One Familiar Stadium Frustration
The home opener at AT&T Stadium comes with a familiar backdrop for the Cowboys, and a familiar annoyance. Dallas has talked before about easing the late-afternoon sun glare that can interfere with play inside the building, with ideas such as window tinting and curtains surfacing after their success during the FIFA World Cup.
For now, though, no such measures have been put in place for the matchup with the Washington Commanders. It leaves the Cowboys heading into a game at a venue where the light can still become part of the story, especially in the kind of late kickoff that tends to bring the issue back into focus. [Read more 🡒]