With the NFL regular season nearly here, Defector’s “Why Your Team Sucks” series is back doing what it does best: taking aim at every team in the league, no matter how good or bad the season was. On Wednesday, the Cincinnati Bengals got their turn, and Drew Magary did not hold back.
The usual structure was all there - a season recap, a look at the head coach and quarterback, then the “What’s new that sucks,” “What’s always sucked,” “What might not suck” setup, followed by fan submissions. But the mood was unmistakable from the start: this was one of those write-ups built to sting.
The sharpest early shot landed on Zac Taylor.
“Any other franchise would have fired Zac Taylor five minutes into his tenure. But because the Bengals are cheaper than Spencer's Gifts, they're gonna let Taylor coach out the entirety of his contract,” Magary wrote.
That kind of line hits because it taps into what Bengals fans already know. Taylor did get the team to a Super Bowl, and that bought him a long leash. But at this point, that leash has clearly stretched past what a lot of people expected.
Magary didn’t spare Joe Burrow, either.
“It’s been five years since Burrow took this team to the Super Bowl, and you and I both know that represents the apex of his time in the Queen City. He'll never win a title with the Bengals,” Magary wrote.
That’s the kind of sentence that lands like a punch to the gut for Cincinnati fans. The farther the Bengals get from that Super Bowl run, the harder it is to shake the feeling that it may have been the high-water mark.
Magary also zeroed in on the Bengals’ offseason defense work, including the addition of Dexter Lawrence, and treated the whole thing with heavy skepticism.
“Would you believe that owner Mike Brown actually signed off on this team doing s*** to fix their defense during the offseason? I'm as blown away as you are, trust me,” Magary wrote. “I'm just excited to watch RedZone peek in on this defense when it blows a three-touchdown lead for the ninth week in a row.”
For Bengals fans, that kind of line is less about shock value and more about memory. It points straight at the blown leads that have haunted this team in recent years, with the hope being that 2026 doesn’t become another repeat.
The piece also went after what Magary framed as the Bengals’ long-running issues as an organization, including the way players carry themselves on the field. He pointed to Ja'Marr Chase spitting on Jalen Ramsey as an example, while also taking a shot at the franchise’s cheap reputation.
For Cincinnati supporters, the challenge is obvious: prove the critics wrong. The hope is that 2026 finally becomes the year the Bengals clear their biggest hurdles and get to - and win - the Super Bowl.
Magary clearly doesn’t buy it. The rest of the league may not either.
In Other News...
Dexter Lawrence Is Already Forcing A Bengals Problem Up Front
Dexter Lawrence has wasted little time making his presence felt at Bengals training camp after Cincinnati acquired the big defensive tackle from the Giants in the deal that sent away the 10th overall pick. Head coach Zac Taylor has already been pointing to Lawrence as the kind of force that changes how a defense operates, and he said the impact has shown up early in camp drills.
One play in particular stood out to Taylor, who described Lawrence as relentless and credited the effect he is having on the defensive line. For a Bengals front looking to set a tougher tone, that kind of early disruption matters, even before the pads come on for real and the competition starts to narrow. [Read more 🡒]
Bengals Rookie Edge Rusher Is Forcing His Way Into This Camp Battle
Myles Murphy knows what the first week of training camp can do for a young edge rusher, which is why he has paid close attention to Cashius Howells start in Cincinnati. The rookie has already drawn notice for the way he has carried himself, bringing physicality and a real pass-rush presence to the field while earning praise from coaches and teammates alike. For a defense that is always looking for another disruptive piece off the edge, that kind of early impression matters.
Zac Taylor has already spoken positively about Howells impact, and Boye Mafe has also taken note of the potential the rookie is showing. The bigger question now is how much of that early momentum sticks as camp goes on, because Howell is doing enough to make this a real competition rather than a developmental subplot. For a Bengals pass-rush group trying to sort out roles, that is exactly the kind of push that can change the conversation quickly. [Read more 🡒]